Personnel

Editor-in-Chief

 * Barnabas Cuffe

Security Editor

 * R. Amorin

Reporters

 * A. Fenetre
 * Andy Smudgley
 * Betty Braithwaite
 * Matthew Amerinus
 * Michael Carneirus
 * Chris Frank
 * Tom Frank
 * Logan Tomko
 * Teddy Jeannette
 * Rachael Almeidus
 * Elizabeth Limus
 * Wiz Winklesteen

Advice Columnists

 * Donovan Shaman
 * Dr. Jacob Medusa
 * Dempster Wiggleswade (for legal problems)
 * Grizel Hurtz (for personal problems)
 * Helbert Spleen (for medical problems)
 * Zamira Gulch (for magical problems)
 * Justin Flinch-Fletchey, op-ed columnist

Photographers

 * Bozo