Maulers Chaser Admits to Blood Doping

In a scandal that has shocked the sports world to the core, Andrew McCallem, the forward chaser for the Pittsburgh Maulers, admitted today in a press conference to "a history of blood doping." Mr. McCallem has been fired from the team, and his 1997 Divison A Honorable Mention title has been stricken from him. This announcement led some fans to cry out, "How can you tell?  You suck either way!"