Today, the Allegheny County District Attorney's office announced that it has successfully won its case against David L. Johnson, deceased, in connection witht the murder of famed goat author Alfred the Goat.
Mr. the Goat was pushed in front of a train last month before appearing at a book signing in Florist and Potts in Diagonal Alley.
The DA was able to prove definitively that Mr. Johnson, after his untimely demise in a fake wand-related fiasco, was able to convince his two best friends to tie him up and pretend that he was still alive. Mr. Johnson was expecting hilarious antics, like in 1989's Weekend at Bernie's, but he instead found murder. As DA Dent proved, Johnson's friends used his corpse to push Mr. the Goat in front of the train, killing him.
Mr. Johnson;s corpse is being held at Spazkaban Maximum Security Prison.